My Mind is Calm. My Body is Ready

Tummy Mummy update from H:

It’s hard to comprehend but my estimated due date is 2 days away and I’m laying here in bed listening to my Hypnobirth music trying to stay calm and focused on the amazing task that can start at any time.

After 9 months of laying on my side I have sore hips and sore shoulders but it’s worth every second whilst I lay here feeling our little baby move and kick. That in itself is a totally different experience than a few months before.

Not long ago those kicks were mere flutters, reminders that something was growing and changing in my body. Now the movements are big, deliberate and a very obvious ‘hello! I’m in here and I’m a little person with arms and feet and I’m going to be here soon!’. It’s a funny feeling to know that in what could be a matter of hours or days I won’t feel those kicks inside that leave me breathless or make me cringe when a foot makes contact with a rib. I don’t believe I’ll be one of those people who ‘miss it’ but I know it will feel odd to not have them and be checking that I can feel them every few hours. Instead I’ll have cute squishy little feet and hands to kiss in person and share with our loved ones!

Besides feeling those often comforting yet uncomfortable kicks and movements (because seriously kid there’s no room in there anymore), I’ve become terribly addicted to symptom spotting and ways to bring on labor. In fact I think it’s way worse than the two week wait was. I’ve googled everything from early labour signs to how to naturally induce a labor (and trust me after trying nearly everything on those lists nothing works so far!). It’s a constant waiting game of ‘is that something?’ ‘Oh is that a sign?’ ‘Hhmmm wonder if I try this stretch’ and so on and so forth. How to naturally bring on labour is constantly on my mind. I mean gee, you should see me bounce on my birth ball like a boss.

Impatience and excitement aside I know the time will come eventually (even though each day feels like an eternity) and Bubs will hopefully start the process when ready. Ideally i want a natural start to labour and not keen on any medical inductions. However I am keeping my mind and options open because you just never know! Maybe I should be up bouncing on my ball whilst writing this.

One of the first things I started to google at the late stage was ‘does mood change before labour?’ because boy oh boy am I as emotional as they come. You think it’s bad during pregnancy!? Nup wait till the end when you’re battling every emotion/craving/thought under the sun at about one hundred miles per hour. You want baby out, you want to see them, touch them and know they’re healthy but you’re not quite sure you’re ready for everything else! Omg here comes crying, nappies, breastfeeding in front of friends and family, being responsible for a tiny little human and omg they’re going to let us take them home!!? Will I be any good at this?

It all hurtles towards you at once like some hormonal meteor shower.
Bam, laughter, bam, tears, bam, frustration, bam, panic, bam, naaaww, bam, hunger, bam, i love everyone, bam, gggrrr.
Let’s just say N doesn’t love it when I drive because I’ve become a serious road rage-r lol plus I want to constantly argue and fight with every member of the public that even looks at me and seriously if one more person tells me to enjoy my sleep now (seriously what sleep?) whilst I can, I will scream. Take note, (yes this is one of those emotional outburst moments) just because a pregnant woman hasn’t had children yet doesn’t mean her feelings of exhaustion aren’t justified. We’re not stupid, we know babies will keep us awake and realize that being woken by a baby is a whole new ball game, we know it’s going to take its toll on us even more (unless we’re super lucky and get a good sleeper). We know we can’t even comprehend it yet. We know we know we know but seriously we’re still tired!!! In fact probably a hot tip most people could learn is to just keep opinions (and your scary birth stories) to yourself when a pregnant lady is 2 days out from her due date lol and probably don’t go trying to rub her bump without asking either (another weird thing people think is ok).

Besides all the inner turmoil and emotional roller coaster that’s going on, I’m actually quite surprised at how excited, calm and ready I feel. I’ve even had strangers ask how far along I am and be surprised I seem so calm and relaxed with so little time left in my pregnancy. Not quite sure what they were expecting but i have taken it as a compliment each time. I put a lot of this ‘calm’ down to the Hypnobirthing classes we had. Early on in the pregnancy prior to the classes I was as anxious as they came. I didn’t even want to think about let alone talk about the end of the pregnancy when I knew there was only one exit, but now I’m fine. I find when I get nervous (because I do have fleeting moments of anxiety) I use birthing affirmations to calm myself down and then I feel empowered and ready again.
‘My body was made for this’
‘My baby will arrive when the time is right’
‘I visualize my calm and gentle birth’
‘I breathe in strength’.
Once I swiftly move past the nerves of birthing and accept it’s inevitability I am excited once again. I can do this. My baby can do this. We are ready. Your mummies are so so looking forward to you being here. You’re welcomed with so much love.

So now it’s time to put my phone down, stop googling ‘is a gurgling stomach a sign of labor?’ And put my hypno music back on and try to relax. Not long now… Not long at all.

(This is one of the 2 main tracks I listen to and will use during my birthing experience.)